Most people want to be good parents. In the midst of an acrimonious divorce however, couples often disagree about who the better parent is and what is in the best interest of the kids. When couples reach an impasse the court may step and appoint a child custody evaluator to make a professional determination. Having a stranger evaluate your parenting skills is a nerve wracking process. Experts say there are things you can do to present yourself in the best possible light.
The first thing to remember is that the individual assessing your situation is a professional. She is not going to be your new best friend or confidant. She does not want to hear tearful confessions and won't take your side against your partner. Evaluators are independent professionals. It's their business to make unbiased assessments of family dynamics. The best thing you can do is to behave as professionally as the individual evaluating you.
You must be completely honest with the evaluator or you will not win your case. Evaluators are professionals who have seen many parents under stress in these situations. The judge will be unlikely to excuse the exaggerations or evasions you made, and the assessor included in her report. As long as you are honest, open, and above board you won't have to worry about the impression you are making.
Go into your meetings prepared. You should never be late to the meetings with the individual conducting your evaluation. If you are meeting in this person's office, and you aren't familiar with the location, be sure to get good directions in advance. You need to arrive a little early, especially if you're not sure about the parking situation. It is perfectly acceptable to take notes during the meeting.
When a home visit is scheduled, you have to make sure your house is spic and span. You do not want the evaluator to look around and wonder if your dirty house is representative of the way you are raising your children. If children's academic and medical records have been requested, be sure you have them ready and put together in an organized fashion.
You must remember that you are not the focus of the evaluator's assessment. The assessor is focused on the best interests of the children. Her job is not to judge your marital situation, except as it affects the kids. If you are asked, you can give an opinion as to the effectiveness of your spouse's parenting skills. You must do it in a thoughtful way however.
It is very important to be as cooperative as you possibly can during this process. You should provide all documentation requested promptly and in full. The assessor may ask you to provide contact information for family members and friends who can give insight into the family dynamic.
Having your parenting skills evaluated is stressful and awkward. Evaluators are aware of this and make allowances for it. It's up to you to be cooperative, informative, polite, and honest however.
The first thing to remember is that the individual assessing your situation is a professional. She is not going to be your new best friend or confidant. She does not want to hear tearful confessions and won't take your side against your partner. Evaluators are independent professionals. It's their business to make unbiased assessments of family dynamics. The best thing you can do is to behave as professionally as the individual evaluating you.
You must be completely honest with the evaluator or you will not win your case. Evaluators are professionals who have seen many parents under stress in these situations. The judge will be unlikely to excuse the exaggerations or evasions you made, and the assessor included in her report. As long as you are honest, open, and above board you won't have to worry about the impression you are making.
Go into your meetings prepared. You should never be late to the meetings with the individual conducting your evaluation. If you are meeting in this person's office, and you aren't familiar with the location, be sure to get good directions in advance. You need to arrive a little early, especially if you're not sure about the parking situation. It is perfectly acceptable to take notes during the meeting.
When a home visit is scheduled, you have to make sure your house is spic and span. You do not want the evaluator to look around and wonder if your dirty house is representative of the way you are raising your children. If children's academic and medical records have been requested, be sure you have them ready and put together in an organized fashion.
You must remember that you are not the focus of the evaluator's assessment. The assessor is focused on the best interests of the children. Her job is not to judge your marital situation, except as it affects the kids. If you are asked, you can give an opinion as to the effectiveness of your spouse's parenting skills. You must do it in a thoughtful way however.
It is very important to be as cooperative as you possibly can during this process. You should provide all documentation requested promptly and in full. The assessor may ask you to provide contact information for family members and friends who can give insight into the family dynamic.
Having your parenting skills evaluated is stressful and awkward. Evaluators are aware of this and make allowances for it. It's up to you to be cooperative, informative, polite, and honest however.
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